I really am hurting this day, and night. I don't want to. Sometimes I wish I only had one child, and don't ask me which one becaue I love them all equally. Can I just stop feeling like this?
thanks for listening Lord.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Its me again
I did not plan on writing again, the very next day, so I'll try and keep this short. I just had to write , out loud, and Praise the Living and True God of the Universe, who truly answers prayer. Sometimes, it is not always what we wanted, but He does answer.
I have been praying, no, begging, Him to not let me have an eye disease that was diagnosed to me a couple of weeks ago, and would have eventually blinded me, if I did not get on anti oxidants to keep it controlled. Well, today, I saw a Real Doctor, who wondered who on earth told me such a scary story. Praise God, I do not have that disease and He simply made plans to correct a cataract situation in both of my eyes. Is that not a great answer to the begging and pleading I gave my Lord. ? This time, He said Yes. Thank you and Praise you ,God of the Universe.
Scripture to me is awe inspiring, and as hard as I may, I have never been really good at memorizing. If Pastor or some one starts it off, I can almost always finish it, but not really remember the book that it comes from. Maybe I'm just lazy, but I love Scripture and love daily reading of it.
As I speak of daily, I have to say, For the last few years, I have been more than willing, and actually able to sit each morning, and read the bible.(Well, lets say 85% of my time. I won't tell you how many times I have actually read it, but I do know, its more than a few. Would you not surmise then, that I could quote and memorize and so on.? I spend almost 1/2 of my time, writing a journal, more like a letter to my Lord. I Praise him, and thank him for the good stuff, then have a time of confession , inspired by asking the Holy Spirit to help me remember my sinful times,which are many.
Then, go on to beg and plead, either for my self, or my husband, family, friends, and so on.
Now, I am just beyond happy tonight, and needed to get this Praise going , so as to keep the promise I made to HIm, that he would receive the Glory for any and all good news the Dr was going to give me. I hope this post, honors him.
By the way, both of my "missing daughters" seem to really be enjoying the new home they are creating with their family. I just have to ask God to continue to strengthen Grampa and I to with stand their being gone.
Thank you too God, that my oldest is in town, even tho she is full time working......We are truly blessed. MIssing my 4th daughter is actually very real, but Lord, you know ,She has been gone for most of her adult life, yet, I would still love to have her closer.
Boys are the men you wanted, and We are so proud of Dan and of Bill. thank you again.
I did not plan on writing again, the very next day, so I'll try and keep this short. I just had to write , out loud, and Praise the Living and True God of the Universe, who truly answers prayer. Sometimes, it is not always what we wanted, but He does answer.
I have been praying, no, begging, Him to not let me have an eye disease that was diagnosed to me a couple of weeks ago, and would have eventually blinded me, if I did not get on anti oxidants to keep it controlled. Well, today, I saw a Real Doctor, who wondered who on earth told me such a scary story. Praise God, I do not have that disease and He simply made plans to correct a cataract situation in both of my eyes. Is that not a great answer to the begging and pleading I gave my Lord. ? This time, He said Yes. Thank you and Praise you ,God of the Universe.
Scripture to me is awe inspiring, and as hard as I may, I have never been really good at memorizing. If Pastor or some one starts it off, I can almost always finish it, but not really remember the book that it comes from. Maybe I'm just lazy, but I love Scripture and love daily reading of it.
As I speak of daily, I have to say, For the last few years, I have been more than willing, and actually able to sit each morning, and read the bible.(Well, lets say 85% of my time. I won't tell you how many times I have actually read it, but I do know, its more than a few. Would you not surmise then, that I could quote and memorize and so on.? I spend almost 1/2 of my time, writing a journal, more like a letter to my Lord. I Praise him, and thank him for the good stuff, then have a time of confession , inspired by asking the Holy Spirit to help me remember my sinful times,which are many.
Then, go on to beg and plead, either for my self, or my husband, family, friends, and so on.
Now, I am just beyond happy tonight, and needed to get this Praise going , so as to keep the promise I made to HIm, that he would receive the Glory for any and all good news the Dr was going to give me. I hope this post, honors him.
By the way, both of my "missing daughters" seem to really be enjoying the new home they are creating with their family. I just have to ask God to continue to strengthen Grampa and I to with stand their being gone.
Thank you too God, that my oldest is in town, even tho she is full time working......We are truly blessed. MIssing my 4th daughter is actually very real, but Lord, you know ,She has been gone for most of her adult life, yet, I would still love to have her closer.
Boys are the men you wanted, and We are so proud of Dan and of Bill. thank you again.
Monday after the move
Monday, July 26, 2010
Its me again
trying this new blogging system. Thank you so much Mary,for helping me, and I hope this works. Not sure anyone gets the blogging thing, right off, and for me its been a challenge so again. Hope this works
Our two daughters now have flown the coop. You can talk about "empty nest syndrome" but empty town is almost as bad.
Thank the good Lord, We have my oldest daughter still in a near by area, and She is the greatest, but she works full time and her kids are all grown, or just about. College age and one graduated from Grand Valley, in Grand Rapids.
Anyway, Mary left in late May, I think it was, just before her son's wedding , taking with her , the last child at home, Julie.
Julie is a delight, and at an age of real courosity ,just turning 15. Life for her is not really full of Gramma, but we did find a lot of fun when we were together. She has always been very precious to us, just as her older sister and brother are. I'll talk about them more later.Luckily, her older sister Jessica, does live in Michigan, but pretty far for a quick run over.
The daughter who left last Friday, *Karen., is the single parent of my youngest grand sons and they have been my delight in "Grammy" kind of things in the past ,especially this summer.
Anyway, Karen chose to move to Wisconsin, which again is not horribly far away, but too far to just drop by like we used to with both she and Mary.
Now, well, now, its the Monday after the move, and the grand kids, ages 5 and 7 were pretty teary eyed when Grampa and I took them home from a special day out,and said good bye to everyone.
Walking about in our stores, like Meijers, or Kroger and seeing the other grandma's and the grand children, will now , once again be painful. Why ,I ask my dear Lord, do so many Grammas and Grampas, have their entire family around them, 24/7, and never do they leave the state or leave the family.
Ooh, yes, We also have a son, Dan, who lives about 20 miles away, but he too has a super busy life and no little kids any longer.
If I bore anyone with my pity party, its myself. I want to just get up out of this chair and move on to a happy go lucky life without pain, without missing my missing, and realize how very fortunate We really are.
My husband,(honey man) of over 30 years now, had 7 children before he took on my 6, and we are so blessed that never ,did we loose a child to death or serious illness.
Shame on me, as I consider, that my very own daugther in law, in St Louis Mo. had her 19 year old son "Marcus" simply go to the gas station to put air in some tires, and never returned home again. He was killed by a driver, who had a perfect driving record,.
It was just the wrong corner, at the wrong time, and Marcus died on the lawn of a neighbor. This dear neighbor spoke a brief message , given by Marcus before he died. HE knew he was going to meet his Savior Jesus Christ.
Since that time, my daughter in law, holds dearly to her remaining son, Nicholas, and grieves every single day of her life.
Did I say, ? I am so missing my daughters? Well, shame on me,,I do miss them, but I thank God, they are on earth, I can talk with them, visit them, see them on FB, and so on.
Thank you God, for hearing my woes today, and reminding me that YOU ARE EVER PRESENT IN MY LIFE< You alone can hold my hand, hold me in your loving arms, and keep me in a "happy go lucky" and blessed life, because I am blessed.
trying this new blogging system. Thank you so much Mary,for helping me, and I hope this works. Not sure anyone gets the blogging thing, right off, and for me its been a challenge so again. Hope this works
Our two daughters now have flown the coop. You can talk about "empty nest syndrome" but empty town is almost as bad.
Thank the good Lord, We have my oldest daughter still in a near by area, and She is the greatest, but she works full time and her kids are all grown, or just about. College age and one graduated from Grand Valley, in Grand Rapids.
Anyway, Mary left in late May, I think it was, just before her son's wedding , taking with her , the last child at home, Julie.
Julie is a delight, and at an age of real courosity ,just turning 15. Life for her is not really full of Gramma, but we did find a lot of fun when we were together. She has always been very precious to us, just as her older sister and brother are. I'll talk about them more later.Luckily, her older sister Jessica, does live in Michigan, but pretty far for a quick run over.
The daughter who left last Friday, *Karen., is the single parent of my youngest grand sons and they have been my delight in "Grammy" kind of things in the past ,especially this summer.
Anyway, Karen chose to move to Wisconsin, which again is not horribly far away, but too far to just drop by like we used to with both she and Mary.
Now, well, now, its the Monday after the move, and the grand kids, ages 5 and 7 were pretty teary eyed when Grampa and I took them home from a special day out,and said good bye to everyone.
Walking about in our stores, like Meijers, or Kroger and seeing the other grandma's and the grand children, will now , once again be painful. Why ,I ask my dear Lord, do so many Grammas and Grampas, have their entire family around them, 24/7, and never do they leave the state or leave the family.
Ooh, yes, We also have a son, Dan, who lives about 20 miles away, but he too has a super busy life and no little kids any longer.
If I bore anyone with my pity party, its myself. I want to just get up out of this chair and move on to a happy go lucky life without pain, without missing my missing, and realize how very fortunate We really are.
My husband,(honey man) of over 30 years now, had 7 children before he took on my 6, and we are so blessed that never ,did we loose a child to death or serious illness.
Shame on me, as I consider, that my very own daugther in law, in St Louis Mo. had her 19 year old son "Marcus" simply go to the gas station to put air in some tires, and never returned home again. He was killed by a driver, who had a perfect driving record,.
It was just the wrong corner, at the wrong time, and Marcus died on the lawn of a neighbor. This dear neighbor spoke a brief message , given by Marcus before he died. HE knew he was going to meet his Savior Jesus Christ.
Since that time, my daughter in law, holds dearly to her remaining son, Nicholas, and grieves every single day of her life.
Did I say, ? I am so missing my daughters? Well, shame on me,,I do miss them, but I thank God, they are on earth, I can talk with them, visit them, see them on FB, and so on.
Thank you God, for hearing my woes today, and reminding me that YOU ARE EVER PRESENT IN MY LIFE< You alone can hold my hand, hold me in your loving arms, and keep me in a "happy go lucky" and blessed life, because I am blessed.
This blog is for you Mom!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
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